The Return of the Lying Narcissist

About a month ago I went on a terrible first date, after which I indicated to the individual that I had no desire to pursue any sort of relationship with him. However his friends were interesting, laid back and fun to be around. So when his roommate asked if I wanted to meet up with the group on a couple of occasions when the liar was not around, I saw no reason to decline. Perhaps I should have this past weekend.

On Friday night I agreed to venture to Uptown to have a couple drinks with the group of friends I have been spending time with over the past month. However, this time, the liar was there. I didn’t think anything of it. We had gone out one time more than a month earlier; there was no reason to make things awkward. He disagreed.

From the moment I got there he seemed to think I had come to see him. His hand was on my waist or he was whispering things in my ear, telling me how much money he makes at his father’s company (be a proud product of nepotism my friend, I hope it gets you far). The ridiculousness of the situation was almost amusing, until it got creepy. A guy at the next bar stopped me to compliment my haircut and when I lingered to have a conversation with him, the liar kept appearing. On one occasion he told the individual I was conversing with that I was his girlfriend.

When I regrouped with my friends the liar approached me with a proposition. “Let’s make a deal that you can dance with whoever you want,” he said. I responded with a blank stare and a simple, “Yes. I know.”

Things only got weirder as the evening wound down. I dropped him, and the individual I had been enjoying time with, off at their apartment. After the friend got out of the car the liar immediately accused me of hooking up with his friend and somehow came to the conclusion that we could still be friends. I agreed with complete indifference and headed home.

I didn’t get far before I got a phone call from the liar asking me where his roommate was, accusing me once again of having salacious relations with him and then asking me if he still had a shot with me. When I informed him that no, as I had said one month earlier, I would not be interested in dating him, he told me that it was good because it wouldn’t have worked out anyway. This particular conversation ended with the conclusion that we would never see each other again and again my apathetic reply was “ok.”

You would think he would have had enough, but he had not. He proceeded to send me a text informing me that he know one thing about me and that was the fact that I was judgmental and then proceeded to thank me for hanging out with him that night. In between his manic texts his roommate tells me that the two had just got in a huge fight because the liar told him he was no longer allowed to be my friend. After all “neither one of us has a chance with her, so what is the point.” Yes what is the point? If you can’t have a romantic relationship with an individual they are clearly not worth talking to. Grow up my arrogant friend. Some people have many things to offer on various levels of relationships that have nothing to do with romantic intentions.

I guess the moral of this little tale is that people like this do exist. I was completely shocked by this guy’s behavior on every plane from bragging about achievements that were not his to own to borderline racist comments inspired by unfounded jealousy. If anything, his ludicrous behavior solidified the conclusion I had drawn a month earlier.

The situation also posed an issue for me. I immensely enjoy hanging out with this crazy individual’s friends when he is not a part of the equation, but I don’t know if that can be done without encountering the whirlwind of drama he brings with him when he appears on the scene. So what do I do? Let him indirectly dictate who I can befriend or run the risk of having another awkward run in with someone whose blinding egotism causes behavior that no well-balanced individual should be capable of? I guess I haven’t really decided at this point, but I do know I my life wouldn’t be lacking if I never cross paths with this individual again.