It has been approximately one year and nine months since my last post. And three years since anything resembling consistency. But, now I’m back. After a little bit of prodding from my husband. Yep. I betrayed my single angst and settled down with guy. He’s keen. There’s no anger issues, drug-related baggage or employment challenges. (What a bore.)
It’s magnificent, but makes for terrible blog fodder. He even happily told me I could vent about him via blog post. He’s going to regret that. But, it poses a challenge. How am I supposed to be creative if I’m with someone healthy enough to be aware of this blog and actively support any need I may need to vent about him. Who wants to read about that?
I do regret that I didn’t record a single moment of our courtship as it was taking shape. Part of that was practicality. He was my boss (LE GASP!) when we first began, which made it impossible to openly discuss the relationship on any sort of public forum. But the fact that we were disgustingly happy from the first date also played a role in my silence. There’s really no room for syrupy romance in a blog where the tone was so cynical it raised concern among those who didn’t know me nearly as well as they thought they did.
I’m not sure what shape this blog will take now that I can’t anonymously call out the multitude of broken men one encounters on the single path. I’d like to maintain a relationship focus, even if it’s not male/female relationships of the romantic persuasion with each post. I mean I’m sure I’ll take the mister up on his offer to let me vent, but I can’t exactly take to the page every time he leaves his dirty socks on the floor or wrongs me in some other cliched male way.
Many of the posts for this first year back (which conveniently coincides with my first year of marriage) will likely be a glimpse into my adventures as a new wife and discovering what that means for someone who once devoted much of her free time exploring what it meant to be single. I’d like to go back and relay the course of our relationship as well as I remember it, now, simply because it will be nice to have some sort of record of how me yelling “BUT YOU’RE MY BOSS” in the Rainbow Foods parking lot became love and marriage. (Are you intrigued, kiddies? We’ll tell that tale in a post called: How I Married My Boss Thanks to a Multiple Choice Quiz.)
It’s also likely that I’ll delve into a few details of the toxic relationship that led to the silent hiatus that took hold of this blog long before I remained mum while I navigated the waters of dating my boss. The toxic silence was necessary for altogether different reasons, including self preservation. Any level of introspection during that relationship would have been crushing to me and concerning to anyone who read it.
Now that I have a great deal of distance and loads of therapy between myself and that hell, I think I’m ready to work through some of the latent layers via the magic of writing. I haven’t felt even a twinge of the effects of it for quite some time, but it doesn’t hurt to get the poison out, even if it has no visible impact.
On top of the sentimental retelling of a gooey modern fairytale and depressing post-mortems, I’ll likely devote some of my musings to relationships that extend beyond the romantic and sanctimonious rants of an out-of-touch married lady.=
So that’s that. I’ve been gone forever, but now I’m back a traitor to the single race. I hope you’ll forgive the betrayal and allow me to talk about relationship issues even if I don’t have earth-shattering ones. Like you have a choice. It’s the Internet bitches, you’ll just have to deal. And you can all collectively shame me when this all goes up in flames because true love is not actually a thing. (It totally is. I’m just trying to remain humble so as not to jinx it.)
It’s good to be back.
KISSES,
The (sorta) Recovered Cynic