"Mr. Nice Guy"

So many guys complain that girls don’t actually want a nice guy, they want a jerk. There are books, investigative news reports, Web sites and songs devoted to this theory. I don’t deny that there are some girls who are drawn to guys who treat them badly, but I also think that guys claim they were rejected for this reason because they don’t want to take a deeper look at their behavior.

There are cases when “Mr. Nice Guy” is actually “Mr. Clingy Stalker Guy.” We appreciate when a guy calls us, opens doors and actually treats us with respect. What we don’t appreciate is constant calls, incessant text messages, talking about commitment too early and just generally obsessive behavior.

My friends have gotten into situations where a guy will get attached right away and it completely freaks them out. Most of the time I tell them to cut the guy some slack, because he is probably just interested and excited about the prospect of a relationship so it should be flattering. However, there are times when the guy is just flat out creepy and borderline psychotic. Of course he wouldn’t see it that way. He would automatically accuse her of being a girl who likes jerks otherwise there would be no reason for her to reject him. There are times when these guys get so incredibly defensive that they manage to remove any doubt that the girl may have had about the judgment she made.

My advice to these guys is: take a step back and assess the situation from an objective perspective. If a girl you were mildly interested in called you constantly, texted you throughout the entire day and lingered on IM just waiting to pounce as soon as you signed on, at what point would you write her off as certifiable?