Years ago I read “The Game” mostly out of morbid curiosity and the desire for a mindless read. I didn’t take it too seriously and imagined it was a fad that would quickly fade. Apparently I was sadly mistaken given the fact that the practices employed by the author are alive and unwell to this day. Well, alive enough that this blogger found it worth writing about. Despite the chastising intentions laid out in the headline, 95 percent of the post explores how these skeevy pick-up artists are “meeting a very real need.”
He does spend the tail end of the article explaining why negging
is a misogynistic tactic, but the overall tone of the piece was not the sound thrashing I had hoped he would deliver. Rather he seems to justify many of their actions by explaining the validity negging method. (Also, he’s got to find a different term for one who employs the negging tactic. Maybe try saying it aloud before committing it to the page/screen.)
He speaks to the fact that by offering up a back-handed compliment these men are paying more attention to something deeper in the woman. Because he has “taken the time to notice the woman he’s negging” more so than a man who simply offers up a compliment. Sorry Hugo, but this is complete bull. It takes less effort to offer up a back-handed insult about a woman’s bangs (as in the example he gave) or clothes or anything else worth insulting on the fly than it does to come up with a truly sincere compliment.
Sure many women are immune to oh-so-thoughtful lines like “you’re hot” or “am I in heaven?” but many (I think) would be open to something less generic that says just a bit more than “I want to be on you.” “I love you’re haircut, it looks great on you,” may seem simple but at least it says more than a blanket compliment in that it addresses both the fact that you find her attractive and you admire her sense of style. Or better yet, have an actual conversation with her and compliment her on her taste in books, adventuresome spirit or benevolent extra curricular activities.
While a neg may appear to be more personal than “you’re beautiful” the thought behind it has nothing to do with the uniqueness of the woman herself. It’s about the self-proclaimed PUA. The entire process of the neg and the pick-up is about their ego.
No, I’m afraid the “true effectiveness of this game” isn’t because these men actually care enough to offer up more than a standard pick up line. It’s more likely because these men hedge their odds by hitting on more women than the average male. Not to mention hitting on women who wouldn’t be of much interest to any man of substance. In reality, encouraging men to look to negging as an example of learning to see a woman on a deeper level is misleading and frankly a bit lazy.