The Online Saga Part Two: The Christian Angle

So a few weeks ago I decided to plunge into the world of online dating. I signed up for a slew of sites in hopes of finding one that would squelch my internal judgy feelings toward online dating. After a very scientific decision process (by scientific I mean completely at random with special consideration given to sites that seemed the least skeevy), I chose to evaluate Christian Dating for Free, Love and Seek, Zoosk, and eHarmony.

Essentially the first two are Christian sites the latter two are only limited to individuals desperate enough to try online dating. I thought the Christian-based sites would be a place where I could, you know, find a nice, normal Christian guy. Turns out I may have been wrong. At least with regard to the normal requirement (silly me, always setting my standards too high).

Christian Dating for Free

I chose this one to get my feet wet. After all, it’s free and it’s for Christians, so what could possibly go wrong? Well, nothing really went wrong, but nothing really came of it either. There were not a lot of options because I’m guessing the membership count is minimal compared to some of the larger, less specific sites. Additionally, I got the impression that a lot of members had been M.I.A. for some time. Most of the profiles that actually piqued my interest had been inactive for months.

One of my biggest issues with this site as well as the other Christian sites was that each person felt the need use their entire profile to express their love of Christianity. I know, I know, what did I expect? I am proud of my faith, but as much as it defines who I am, it isn’t the only thing I am. I mean, you are on a Christian dating site, I get it, you loves you some Jesus. But there has to be something else interesting about you. Do you read? Enjoy travel? Whittle small cat figurines out of fallen oak trees? I mean if all we were was our faith all Christians would be identical and it wouldn’t matter how we paired off. So, Christian lads, all I’m asking is give me something more to work from here.

Love and Seek

For all the nothing that happened with the Christian Dating for Free site, a whole lot of wrong happened on Love and Seek. The saccharine name alone was almost enough to send me running the other direction, but it seemed reputable enough. It was actually recommended in an article about online dating because the membership base was broad and diverse. In reality, the members in my area were limited and the only people who actually contacted me were men old enough to be my father (and yes some literally old enough to be my grandfather). You’d be surprised at the incredibly dirty feeling that accompanies a * kiss kiss * message from a gray-haired old man when you’re 26 years old.

The few people who weren’t in the geriatric stage of their life appeared to be foreign princes who would eventually implore me to deposit money in an offshore account so they could free themselves from the evil reign of their father and then inherit millions.

Still, no one could be outdone by the individual who sent me a rather creepy note in which he actually ordered me to respond regardless of whether or not I was interested. In his profile he demanded that his lucky future bride be a virgin who would submit to him and never, ever cheat on him or he would divorce her. Scary stuff. Needless to say, I closed out of this account before my one-month trial was up.

Maybe other Christian sites would be a better fit, but it seems I’ve actually had a bit more luck with the broader sites. That’s a discussion for another time though…(How’s that for a cliff hanger?)