It’s that special time of year when those who went unsmooched on New Year’s Eve must evaluate where they went wrong (or right) in the previous year in the romance department. I suppose this includes me, which means it's time for the obligatory resolution post. There are a number of things I should probably do to better myself and just maybe get past that third-date wall I so often hit, but I think perhaps I should start with one.
I’ve come to realize that I possess one of the most loathsome traits in the dating universe, chameleon qualities. If I become all goo goo over a guy I tend to unwittingly tweak conversations and behaviors to reflect a girl I believe he might like. Though I’m not as bad as this, because I don’t fake interest or lie, but I will amplify certain aspects of my personality that may be more attractive to him than others. I understand that, to some degree, this is almost expected in dating situations, but I still feel like a fraud when I do it.
Part of the issue is my teasingly diverse range of interests are on the level of schizophrenia. I love me some hip-hop and anti-folk. Can’t get enough of Dickens and Palahniuk. Enjoy yoga and a good run. Joseph Gorden Levitt and Jason Statham are both my ideal men. I seldom follow through with anything because of the ADD-nature of my passion. Half the time I don’t even know what I’m most intrigued by from moment to moment, which makes it easy to strongly embrace a particular interest if I may share it with a charming boy.
The breadth versus depth essence of my hobbies ends up making me look like a fraud. I’m basically a poser in a number realms and an expert in none. I impress the artsy boy by showing him my crappy paintings, knowing out of politeness he will pretend not to notice the hotel art quality of each piece. I connect with the amateur emcee through my limited knowledge of indie hip-hop, hoping he won’t question why I’ve only ever heard three songs by The Dialated Peoples. In each situation I downplay interests that I think will bore Mr. McDreamboat and talk up skills and expertise I know would pique his interest.
The only thing that makes this remotely defensible is that I never feign interest in anything I don’t care about, but it still feels unnatural to neglect various facets of my multiple personalities simply because I’m trying to inspire swoony butterflies in a passionate cutie.
So what do I do? Pick three things to love and become a savant in each area? That doesn’t seem like a viable option given the fact that I completely lack the discipline to commit to one hobby without being distracted by another a week later. Also, only reading books, listening to music, wearing clothes and watching movies that fall into the category of the personality I choose to stick with is even more insane than thinking 75 areas of interest are the best thing evah.
No, narrowing my broad interests would be the opposite of the appropriate (re)solution. I’ve decided to embrace each area regardless of the dating situation I’m in. If I have a date with a sweet lil hipster, I refuse to dress like a hobo just because I love M.I.A. I will not pretend I’m deeply interested in the current state of politics than I actually am when I interact with a hot human rights attorney despite my political science minor. I will embrace my manic interests for what they are and not let the attention of a random Hottie McHotterson define my passion of the month.