This past week, I’ve come upon yet another completely obvious, but never-the-less important, requirement for my future Mr. Perfect. He needs to possess the inexplicable ability to transform my day regardless of where I’m at on the emotional spectrum. There are some people in my life who can completely turn my day around with a short conversation sprinkled with a few encouraging words. It’s not necessarily because they have brilliant advice to offer. They may not say anything more than a compassionate stranger would, but the level of trust and respect I have for them elevates their wisdom.
I’ve been amazed at how certain people can sponge out every negative thing I am feeling before I even realize what happened, even if they were the ones who caused the negativity in the first place. Very few of the men I’ve dated have been able to do this. It’s not for lack of trying. Most of my boyfriends have offered the obligatory supportive comments and a shoulder to cry on, but there were some things they just couldn’t fix. The fact is many of my friends have been able to cheer me better than any romantic interest I’ve had.
Perhaps it’s something that comes with the deeper understanding that develops after years of knowing someone and dealing with every up and down from one extreme to the other—bad hair cuts to untimely losses. Maybe it has nothing to do with the length of the relationship. Maybe it’s that the individuals who can successful lift my mood are those who genuinely care about me.
I think that might be one of the hardest things to find in a person, in friends or otherwise. By nature we are a selfish species and it’s rare to find that two-way street where both individuals care so much that that they are completely in-tune with each other’s needs.
As I mentioned before, I also think it has to do with the how much I respect the individual who is offering his (or her) support. For some reason a logical argument means so much more it comes from someone I admire. This is especially true when I struggle with issues in my career. When I get a vote of confidence from someone I view as successful it resonates much deeper than someone who doesn’t understand the meaning of drive and has no aspirations of their own.
So, as difficult as it may make my perpetual pseudo search for the ideal man, I sincerely hope I find someone who possesses the mysterious ability to turn even my grayest skies blue.
Note: I sincerely apologize for the cheese factor of this post.