There is some first date behavior that is just unacceptable and pretty much eliminates the possibility of a second date, among them is hitting on other women and lying. I was privileged enough to experience both of these this weekend.
I met this guy at a bar (strike one?) and actually had an intelligent conversation about proper grammar—take me now sailor. But seriously I was pretty excited about the prospect of seeing him again by the end of the night, so when he texted me on Monday (yeah that’s another whole issue) to set something up for Friday I readily accepted.
The date started out great in spite of the fact that it was a group event because his friend was in from out of town and he was having people over. He was intellectual, was well on his way to being a lawyer, signing up for the Big Brother program, etc. We headed downtown and around 12:30 the magic happened.
He disappeared after he went to replace a drink he had knocked out of a girl’s hand. This to me was completely acceptable; taking 15 to 20 minutes to come back and crowding her space at the bar, however, is a little sketchy. After a series of events he came back to explain that the girl was a friend from high school and they were just catching up. The story really didn’t jive but I went with it for awhile. Later I pulled one of his friends aside and discovered what I expected, the boy had lied.
He apologized a multitude of times, explained what really happened and asked for a second chance. I’ve toyed with the possibility, but have since realized it’s really not worth the trouble even if things were going well initially. The majority of my friends backed me on this decision, but one thought I should give him another shot.
I came to the conclusion that if someone is willing to lie on a first date, it doesn’t bode well future behavior. I’m taking it as a sign of immaturity and won’t risk wasting time on someone who couldn’t even give me the common courtesy of an honest first date.