The Unanswered Question

I don’t know if it’s because we are getting older, but my friends have been exploring what it means to find the one: How it should feel? How do you know? At what point should you know? As with every aspect of love and relationships this topic has been analyzed to death and no one has ever found the answer. That’s because there isn’t one.

I used to be the hopeless romantic who essentially believed that everyone I dated had serious potential to be the proverbial one. At this point in my life I really don’t know how it will be when I find my future husband. I imagine the impractical, love-struck girl in me will make her way back to the surface and it will hit me like a pile of bricks.

A lot of people say they just knew when they found the one they were going to marry. The thing is there was a time when I knew and a couple of my exes felt the same way and it turned out we were all wrong. Maybe it’s not so much that you know so much as you truly believe.

I have a friend who says she doesn’t believe she has ever really been in love and she is right. If she said she believed she had, she would be right too. It’s such an abstract idea that it can only absolutely be defined by the people who are feeling it. The thing is because she doesn’t believe that she has ever felt love she doesn’t know what to look for when she is determining who to spend the rest of her life with. This terrifies her and I don’t think she is alone.

Even though I know I’ve felt love before I don’t necessarily trust myself to know what will make someone the one for me. I know I should probably figure this out, read a book on the subject or discuss the topic with married people, but in reality I know I won’t find the answer until it happens for me.