Yes, No, Maybe So

I’ve decided that, in dating, there is no other response more irritating than “maybe” when it comes to making plans. What does maybe mean? You deign to spend time with me if nothing better comes along? Are you playing a game? “Yes” I get. It means, “I would love to hang out with you, thanks for asking.” Although “no” can be a little muggy, is still decipherable. If you legitimately have plans, it just means “no.” If you have no plans, it simply means “I don’t want to see you.” Either way it is much clearer than “maybe.”

If you give me a “maybe” because you potentially have plans but nothing has solidified, I can grasp that. However, if your “maybe” is vaguely dependent on your mood that day, then forget it. I don’t need to be waiting on you to make a decision about my plans. If you don’t think I’m worth hanging out with when you have absolutely nothing better to do, then I’m sorry, but you aren’t worth my time when you do decide to make plans with me.

Being “maybed” puts you in such an uncomfortable position. Do you bring the subject up again? Do you even bother contacting the person in the meantime? I hate how much control I lose with a “maybe” answer.

Just yesterday, for the first time I asked a guy I’m seeing if he would like to do something this weekend. In the entire time we’ve been dating, I have never once initiated a phone call or a date. I didn’t want to put myself in the position where he could turn me down. But, I’ve started to like him and I have been thinking maybe I should be making more of an effort. So I floated an idea by him thinking there is no way he is going to say “no” if he isn’t busy. He has pursued me steadily for months now, so why in the world would he decline?

However, the answer I got was much worse than a flat-out “no.” He said “maybe.” My mind has been trying to grasp just what that means for the past couple days. In regard to the questions I posed earlier I decided that, no, I would not be bringing the subject up again. And, no, I will not be initiating contact with him in the interim. I actually made plans for the “maybe” day. Not really sure where this is going to land me but I know that I am fairly interested to see how this is going to pan out. Both for myself and for him.