For as long as relationships have been ending people have tried to remain friends with their exes. This has never been easy and very seldom has it ever been successful. Why do people feel the need to remain friends after a relationship has run its course? Is it because the dumper is trying to make it easier on the dumpee? Is the dumpee trying desperately to hold on to the relationship they never wanted to end in the first place? Does the dumper simply want to put the dumpee on the backburner because he or she is not quite ready for the relationship yet? Or do both parties genuinely want to salvage a friendship with someone they care about but can’t be with romantically for one reason or another?
The factors that contribute to the success or failure of a friendship attempt are as numerous as the potential motives behind it. I don’t need to enumerate these as we all know what they are. A friendship with an ex is a lot more work than a normal friendship. So is it ever worth the effort and emotional stress involved to remain friends with an ex?
I do not have the answer to this question. I have always had a strict policy to never be friends with my exes. However, I am in the middle of an attempt to remain friends with someone I just broke up with. We were best friends for almost a year before we started dating. We had a really strong connection and the relationship ended due to circumstances rather than incompatibility. I actually think this fact will make it more difficult to rewind back to a friendship, but at the same time it makes salvaging it more important than it has been with the demise of other relationships. I have a feeling I would be better off if I stayed true to my rule and cut all communication, but I’m a sucker for punishment and want to see this one through to the likely bitter end.